Friends Revisited

Throughout my life I have had many many friends. I remember the very first friendships that I formed before I even started school. Growing up in the small town that I did, these were friends that I went to school with from the beginning to the end. My friends tend to go through phases and come full circle. The ones that aren't held in that deep bond that true true friends hold. Although I remained friends with those from the beginning, naturally as I matured, I developed closer bonds with only a few during my teen years.

I can count on my fingers how many friends I have, and only on a little less than one hand the ones that will be there through out my life. During the early stages of my adulthood, I went through a couple of full circle friends with much heartbreak, but grew and learned from them.

I have friends that serve different purposes in my life. One of my closest friends provides a rock and faith in me, she reminds me of my strengths when I can't remember and never ever judges me for my miscomings. Another of my friends knows of a specific set of struggles I have faced over the past few years, as she as suffered as well, and while this is the reason we came together ultimately, our friendship is broad. My other close friend helps me see things that I wouldn't otherwise notice. She has a belief deep within her that I will succeed in my goals and reminds me of that regularly. She's one of my biggest cheerleaders. I love them all for everything they give to me, I only hope I provide enough in return.

I do have other friends that I maybe only talk to once, twice or possibly three times a year. That's enough to keep us sustained in our relationship and enough to stay caught up in each other's lives. The difference in these relationships oppossed to the other ones, I am the initiater. Simply put, I do that once, twice or three times a year calling. More often than not. I don't mind this. Keeping in touch with them rather than the other way. I value each of them in their own way, and at some point during our relationship they have given me enough proof that they do care. I am not one that needs continual proof of that. They were more to me than just a friendship of convience.

Friendships of convience are what I proclaim my husband to have. Each place he has been in his life, has formed seeminly close friendships with those around him and made memories for lifetimes. In the end, when he moved on from that place in his life, they were mostly left behind. I often ask him how it is he isn't bothered by not having any lasting friendships and he just replies in such a way that reminds me he's a man. It reminds me of some of the core differences between women and men and our emotional attachments.

Just this past week, we remembered his military buddies. Ones he had talked in great length about in our "getting to know you" phase, and ones he had essentially.. left behind. Six years ago I prompted him to get in touch with them and he did. But it didn't last more than a phone call. When we moved back to his hometown area, which happens to be where the long lost buddies lived.. he didn't make an effort to contact them. Here we are, living in the same small town and it didn't phase him to try and get together. His excuse is that he doesn't feel bad about it because its not like they made an effort either. So in an effort to get him to continue on with the bond he molded in his earlier life, I prompted him to give them a call once more. He did, they talked. We are getting together next Sunday.