Currently .. here is where we stand.

Ok.. so now that everyone is up to speed.. be it maybe not so short .. I will catch you up to today.. Well I started this cycle.. and predicted based on my last two cycles approximately when I would ovulate.   To my surprise, I popped a big ol egg a whole 10 days earlier than my earliest prediction!! WHOOHOO!! So, I called up the doc and set up the appt.. which was this past Wednesday.. Came in, checked my ovaries, and painfully took blood.  All with DS (dear son) under toe.  Well I knew Friday they would call and give me the results and I pretty much expected to hear what I heard.. and before I tell you what that was.. let me tell you about the state of mind I have been in this entire cycle. 
 
 
I don't know where it came from or what part inside me decided that THIS was gonna be the cycle.. but it did and I wasn't gonna hear anything else!  So I just made up my mind that we were gonna baby dance (sex for those not familiar with the ttc lingo.. also BD) every day, I would drink tons of green tea, and I would quit smoking.  NOW WAIT.. before you go why were you ttcing while smoking.. I was a light smoker if ever there was one.. we are talking.. four a day tops.. and believe me.. there were times of frustration I wanted to sit down with a pack for the day.. but alas.. I did quit smoking.. again.. cause I stopped when I found out I was pregnant with my DS.  This whole cycle I have been bopping along.. just waiting for the irrifutable nip sign that O is about to take place.  Singing to myself.. this is it.. once it pops we are gonna be pregnant.  I actually hadn't even entertained the thought that I MIGHT NOT CATCH THAT EGG! 
 
One thing that got me going to begin with and bear with me while I share this,,, I have a really good friend.. one of my best friends.. who has a friend that is a clairvoyant of sorts.. kinda but not really.. she has "visions" .. and for as long as I have known my friend.. she has shared with me all the "predictions" her friend has seen for her.. or for anything.. and so far,, she hasn't been wrong about any of them..Sooo you can imagine that when my friend told me that her buddy had had a vision of the two of us pushing strollers in my neighborhood in late summer/early fall of next year and the babies would be a few months old at that time.. well that's all she wrote!!! Sign me up!! I am on board with that!! OF COURSE, this is totally preposterous to put faith in something like that.. I KNOW THIS.. but damn, at this point in any TTC journey.. and knocking on three years of NO BABY.. you will hold on to anything even remotely related to your dreams coming true.  So I took that and ran with it.. mind you.. she told me this at the beginning of last cycle.. so I had already resigned myself to the fact that it wouldn't be that one.. but this one.. still with me??
 
Ok.. so are you even completely close to understanding my frame of mind at this point? 
 
So here I am, yesterday.. sitting here chatting away with my dear friend mentioned above.. ohhh what name shall we give her.. Catherine.. that'll work.. ok..so Catherine and I are chit chatting on IM.. and going over the recent drama in her life.. and then discussing.. err obsessing about my chart and how outstandingly fabulous it looks.. and the fact that my temps are on average .3 degrees higher than my normal post O temps.. and she tells me.. " you know.. mostly when you would obsess I would just say ok.. sure.. and go on.. because I just didn't feel it.. but this time.. I have a resolve.. a calm if you will.. where I actually believe this could be it".. well hot damn!! I don't care if she was blowing smoke up my ass.. if you think this is it.. great! Cause well.. I do too.. and well about that time I say.. they need to hurry up and call me with those results.. and as if I had summoned the powers that be to make my phone ring.. not 30 seconds after I got that typed out.. my phone rang.. and it was.. Doctors for Women calling.. yes people.. it was the phone call for my results. 
 
 
So I pick up the phone and the nice nurse Ashley says "hello there! I have your results!" So with not so baited breath I hear her say EXACTLY what I knew she was gonna say..
 
Are you ready?? Are you sure??? OOOKK
 
She said.. well the beta was negative.. but you had a WONDERFUL ovulation.. and your progesterone level is 15.5!!!
 
You see,,, I fully expected a negative beta at this point.. cause I was only 9 dpo (days past ovulation) when the blood was drawn.. and at the earliest the majority of times blood will detect hcg in your system is 10dpo.. and well folks it was clear that I was that ! So the doctor and I discussed that this would probably be the case.. and so when Ashley told me my beta result.. I wasn't even shocked.. I didn't flinch.. I said well we knew it was too early.. so she agreed and said.. that if I did catch that egg that my level was high enough to sustain the pregnancy!
 
Soo here we are .. waiting.. till Tuesday.. to see if the witch shows up on my doorstep in the middle of the night..
 
but folks.. I just have a feeling she has gonnnnneee missing... and for a few reasons.. I have had slight cramping on and off since 3dpo.. three days ago.. my right boob had shooting pains and felt like I had a vice pinching on the inside of my nipple.. and last night.. my left nipple felt like it had shards of glass in it when I was laying on it.  OH and lets not forget to mention.. that I talked to my sister today.. and she informs me that when you dream about fish that someone you know is pregnant.. and well guess what.. she's been dreaming about fish all week!!
 
Will I break down and take a hpt?? I have three around here somewhere.. but for the life of me can't find them.. so unless I am ready to go and purchase some more.. I will probably wait it out.. who knows.. either way.. stay tuned!!
 
Rainfairy